Dec 20, 2024 Written by 

COMPLEXITIES OF EXISTENCE (by Francesco Giovannozzi, psychologist and psychotherapist)

The complexities of existence.
Life is not always easy and the complexities of existence have always existed; they accompany us along the path of our daily lives.
In times gone by, it was often the family doctor who listened to them and associated them as related to the health of his patients and gave them advice.
When, on the other hand, the difficulties were of an ethical nature, people turned to the priest who, through accompaniment and confession, gave suggestions on how to redeem themselves.
Later, with the discovery of psychology in its various forms, people became concerned with human problems. The figure of the psychologist in the broad sense or the psychiatrist joined the previous figures. As far as the field of the psychiatrist is concerned more specifically, the problems are not visible illnesses.
People who are afflicted by life complications are not patients in the usual sense. They can be normal, productive people - as normal as one can be in our community.
Generally, these daily contrarieties may concern interpersonal relationships, the way one works, performance issues... but also the issue of living honestly, in line with one's principles and personal beliefs. Then there are the contrarieties of practical life, which can often accentuate the others.
A lot also depends on our typical behaviours with which we defend ourselves or construct our way of life, and which were formed at an early period - unconsciously imitating people who had meaning in our lives (the so-called character, very succinctly).
Jung argues that the child's unconscious depends on the parental unconscious.
Almost always in my long professional practice I encountered this construct, and I had to struggle to make people understand that it was the parents who triggered the behaviour.
Often when I encountered parents who did not want to accept certain responsibilities, the latter would resort to excuses that did not hold up in any way.
In relationships between individuals, the most annoying issue concerns how we experience our affections.
There are aggressive people who seek people to dominate. There are those who exploit the other (the unwary); and so on.
In love relationships, one has to pay attention to how each one stands towards the other. Let us give some examples.
A woman who suffers because of her spouse who hinders her every development (or vice versa) must understand or be helped to understand that she has somehow sought this situation, and that it is only by finding confidence in her own possibilities and ability to manage herself that she will find relief from her pains.
Otherwise, i.e. if he does not discover his own potential, not even by separating will he solve his problems - because he will unconsciously seek the same kind of spouse.
Only people who are able to respect each other's needs and interests are capable of adult love. We often confuse our own desire with that of the other.
How many times in counselling with couples have I encountered this.
In job difficulties we often find people who move from one job to another because they are not satisfied with the lack of recognition. It may be, for example, an individual with grandiose ideas about his or her aptitudes who has to seek admiration in the work environment .
Then there are people who do creative work and feel that they do not produce as they would like. Here we are often faced with an unachievable perfectionism. Often such individuals are unable to admit that they have limits, and are confronted with their real capabilities.
It then happens that many people turn to an analyst because although they do not have a form of depression, they are not happy with themselves.
In his Psychoanalysis of Contemporary Society, Erich Fromm argues that consumerism leads us to an 'alienation from self'. By 'alienation' he means that which in principle belongs to man and then becomes foreign to him - eventually dominating us.
We must be as others want us to be.
Advertising and fashion itself also consciously influence us, and in this way if we do not conform we can feel backward.
We often get into conflict between our beliefs and the need to 'please' people.
Of course we do not have to be isolationists, but even here a proper balance 'saves' us, since repudiating certain fundamental tenets of our way of being does a lot of damage.
May the coming Christmas enlighten us, show us the way. Not infrequently, here too, we match current population trends, and often forget its true meaning.

Francesco Giovannozzi Psychologist-psychotherapist

826 Last modified on Friday, 20 December 2024 06:25
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Giuseppe Nespeca è architetto e sacerdote. Cultore della Sacra scrittura è autore della raccolta "Due Fuochi due Vie - Religione e Fede, Vangeli e Tao"; coautore del libro "Dialogo e Solstizio".

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And it is not enough that you belong to the Son of God, but you must be in him, as the members are in their head. All that is in you must be incorporated into him and from him receive life and guidance (Jean Eudes)
E non basta che tu appartenga al Figlio di Dio, ma devi essere in lui, come le membra sono nel loro capo. Tutto ciò che è in te deve essere incorporato in lui e da lui ricevere vita e guida (Giovanni Eudes)
This transition from the 'old' to the 'new' characterises the entire teaching of the 'Prophet' of Nazareth [John Paul II]
Questo passaggio dal “vecchio” al “nuovo” caratterizza l’intero insegnamento del “Profeta” di Nazaret [Giovanni Paolo II]
The Lord does not intend to give a lesson on etiquette or on the hierarchy of the different authorities […] A deeper meaning of this parable also makes us think of the position of the human being in relation to God. The "lowest place" can in fact represent the condition of humanity (Pope Benedict)
Il Signore non intende dare una lezione sul galateo, né sulla gerarchia tra le diverse autorità […] Questa parabola, in un significato più profondo, fa anche pensare alla posizione dell’uomo in rapporto a Dio. L’"ultimo posto" può infatti rappresentare la condizione dell’umanità (Papa Benedetto)
We see this great figure, this force in the Passion, in resistance to the powerful. We wonder: what gave birth to this life, to this interiority so strong, so upright, so consistent, spent so totally for God in preparing the way for Jesus? The answer is simple: it was born from the relationship with God (Pope Benedict)
Noi vediamo questa grande figura, questa forza nella passione, nella resistenza contro i potenti. Domandiamo: da dove nasce questa vita, questa interiorità così forte, così retta, così coerente, spesa in modo così totale per Dio e preparare la strada a Gesù? La risposta è semplice: dal rapporto con Dio (Papa Benedetto)
These words are full of the disarming power of truth that pulls down the wall of hypocrisy and opens consciences [Pope Benedict]
Queste parole sono piene della forza disarmante della verità, che abbatte il muro dell’ipocrisia e apre le coscienze [Papa Benedetto]
While the various currents of human thought both in the past and at the present have tended and still tend to separate theocentrism and anthropocentrism, and even to set them in opposition to each other, the Church, following Christ, seeks to link them up in human history, in a deep and organic way [Dives in Misericordia n.1]
Mentre le varie correnti del pensiero umano nel passato e nel presente sono state e continuano ad essere propense a dividere e perfino a contrapporre il teocentrismo e l'antropocentrismo, la Chiesa invece, seguendo il Cristo, cerca di congiungerli nella storia dell'uomo in maniera organica e profonda [Dives in Misericordia n.1]
Jesus, however, reverses the question — which stresses quantity, that is: “are they few?...” — and instead places the question in the context of responsibility, inviting us to make good use of the present (Pope Francis)
Gesù però capovolge la domanda – che punta più sulla quantità, cioè “sono pochi?...” – e invece colloca la risposta sul piano della responsabilità, invitandoci a usare bene il tempo presente (Papa Francesco)
The Lord Jesus presented himself to the world as a servant, completely stripping himself and lowering himself to give on the Cross the most eloquent lesson of humility and love (Pope Benedict)
Il Signore Gesù si è presentato al mondo come servo, spogliando totalmente se stesso e abbassandosi fino a dare sulla croce la più eloquente lezione di umiltà e di amore (Papa Benedetto)

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