Dec 20, 2024 Written by 

COMPLEXITIES OF EXISTENCE (by Francesco Giovannozzi, psychologist and psychotherapist)

The complexities of existence.
Life is not always easy and the complexities of existence have always existed; they accompany us along the path of our daily lives.
In times gone by, it was often the family doctor who listened to them and associated them as related to the health of his patients and gave them advice.
When, on the other hand, the difficulties were of an ethical nature, people turned to the priest who, through accompaniment and confession, gave suggestions on how to redeem themselves.
Later, with the discovery of psychology in its various forms, people became concerned with human problems. The figure of the psychologist in the broad sense or the psychiatrist joined the previous figures. As far as the field of the psychiatrist is concerned more specifically, the problems are not visible illnesses.
People who are afflicted by life complications are not patients in the usual sense. They can be normal, productive people - as normal as one can be in our community.
Generally, these daily contrarieties may concern interpersonal relationships, the way one works, performance issues... but also the issue of living honestly, in line with one's principles and personal beliefs. Then there are the contrarieties of practical life, which can often accentuate the others.
A lot also depends on our typical behaviours with which we defend ourselves or construct our way of life, and which were formed at an early period - unconsciously imitating people who had meaning in our lives (the so-called character, very succinctly).
Jung argues that the child's unconscious depends on the parental unconscious.
Almost always in my long professional practice I encountered this construct, and I had to struggle to make people understand that it was the parents who triggered the behaviour.
Often when I encountered parents who did not want to accept certain responsibilities, the latter would resort to excuses that did not hold up in any way.
In relationships between individuals, the most annoying issue concerns how we experience our affections.
There are aggressive people who seek people to dominate. There are those who exploit the other (the unwary); and so on.
In love relationships, one has to pay attention to how each one stands towards the other. Let us give some examples.
A woman who suffers because of her spouse who hinders her every development (or vice versa) must understand or be helped to understand that she has somehow sought this situation, and that it is only by finding confidence in her own possibilities and ability to manage herself that she will find relief from her pains.
Otherwise, i.e. if he does not discover his own potential, not even by separating will he solve his problems - because he will unconsciously seek the same kind of spouse.
Only people who are able to respect each other's needs and interests are capable of adult love. We often confuse our own desire with that of the other.
How many times in counselling with couples have I encountered this.
In job difficulties we often find people who move from one job to another because they are not satisfied with the lack of recognition. It may be, for example, an individual with grandiose ideas about his or her aptitudes who has to seek admiration in the work environment .
Then there are people who do creative work and feel that they do not produce as they would like. Here we are often faced with an unachievable perfectionism. Often such individuals are unable to admit that they have limits, and are confronted with their real capabilities.
It then happens that many people turn to an analyst because although they do not have a form of depression, they are not happy with themselves.
In his Psychoanalysis of Contemporary Society, Erich Fromm argues that consumerism leads us to an 'alienation from self'. By 'alienation' he means that which in principle belongs to man and then becomes foreign to him - eventually dominating us.
We must be as others want us to be.
Advertising and fashion itself also consciously influence us, and in this way if we do not conform we can feel backward.
We often get into conflict between our beliefs and the need to 'please' people.
Of course we do not have to be isolationists, but even here a proper balance 'saves' us, since repudiating certain fundamental tenets of our way of being does a lot of damage.
May the coming Christmas enlighten us, show us the way. Not infrequently, here too, we match current population trends, and often forget its true meaning.

Francesco Giovannozzi Psychologist-psychotherapist

649 Last modified on Friday, 20 December 2024 06:25
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Giuseppe Nespeca è architetto e sacerdote. Cultore della Sacra scrittura è autore della raccolta "Due Fuochi due Vie - Religione e Fede, Vangeli e Tao"; coautore del libro "Dialogo e Solstizio".

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The Ascension does not point to Jesus’ absence, but tells us that he is alive in our midst in a new way. He is no longer in a specific place in the world as he was before the Ascension. He is now in the lordship of God, present in every space and time, close to each one of us. In our life we are never alone (Pope Francis)
L’Ascensione non indica l’assenza di Gesù, ma ci dice che Egli è vivo in mezzo a noi in modo nuovo; non è più in un preciso posto del mondo come lo era prima dell’Ascensione; ora è nella signoria di Dio, presente in ogni spazio e tempo, vicino ad ognuno di noi. Nella nostra vita non siamo mai soli (Papa Francesco)
The Magnificat is the hymn of praise which rises from humanity redeemed by divine mercy, it rises from all the People of God; at the same time, it is a hymn that denounces the illusion of those who think they are lords of history and masters of their own destiny (Pope Benedict)
Il Magnificat è il canto di lode che sale dall’umanità redenta dalla divina misericordia, sale da tutto il popolo di Dio; in pari tempo è l’inno che denuncia l’illusione di coloro che si credono signori della storia e arbitri del loro destino (Papa Benedetto)
This unknown “thing” is the true “hope” which drives us, and at the same time the fact that it is unknown is the cause of all forms of despair and also of all efforts, whether positive or destructive, directed towards worldly authenticity and human authenticity (Spe Salvi n.12)
Questa « cosa » ignota è la vera « speranza » che ci spinge e il suo essere ignota è, al contempo, la causa di tutte le disperazioni come pure di tutti gli slanci positivi o distruttivi verso il mondo autentico e l'autentico uomo (Spe Salvi n.12)
«When the servant of God is troubled, as it happens, by something, he must get up immediately to pray, and persevere before the Supreme Father until he restores to him the joy of his salvation. Because if it remains in sadness, that Babylonian evil will grow and, in the end, will generate in the heart an indelible rust, if it is not removed with tears» (St Francis of Assisi, FS 709)
«Il servo di Dio quando è turbato, come capita, da qualcosa, deve alzarsi subito per pregare, e perseverare davanti al Padre Sommo sino a che gli restituisca la gioia della sua salvezza. Perché se permane nella tristezza, crescerà quel male babilonese e, alla fine, genererà nel cuore una ruggine indelebile, se non verrà tolta con le lacrime» (san Francesco d’Assisi, FF 709)
Wherever people want to set themselves up as God they cannot but set themselves against each other. Instead, wherever they place themselves in the Lord’s truth they are open to the action of his Spirit who sustains and unites them (Pope Benedict)
Dove gli uomini vogliono farsi Dio, possono solo mettersi l’uno contro l’altro. Dove invece si pongono nella verità del Signore, si aprono all’azione del suo Spirito che li sostiene e li unisce (Papa Benedetto)
But our understanding is limited: thus, the Spirit's mission is to introduce the Church, in an ever new way from generation to generation, into the greatness of Christ's mystery. The Spirit places nothing different or new beside Christ; no pneumatic revelation comes with the revelation of Christ - as some say -, no second level of Revelation (Pope Benedict)
Ma la nostra capacità di comprendere è limitata; perciò la missione dello Spirito è di introdurre la Chiesa in modo sempre nuovo, di generazione in generazione, nella grandezza del mistero di Cristo. Lo Spirito non pone nulla di diverso e di nuovo accanto a Cristo (Papa Benedetto)

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