Dec 20, 2024 Written by 

COMPLEXITIES OF EXISTENCE (by Francesco Giovannozzi, psychologist and psychotherapist)

The complexities of existence.
Life is not always easy and the complexities of existence have always existed; they accompany us along the path of our daily lives.
In times gone by, it was often the family doctor who listened to them and associated them as related to the health of his patients and gave them advice.
When, on the other hand, the difficulties were of an ethical nature, people turned to the priest who, through accompaniment and confession, gave suggestions on how to redeem themselves.
Later, with the discovery of psychology in its various forms, people became concerned with human problems. The figure of the psychologist in the broad sense or the psychiatrist joined the previous figures. As far as the field of the psychiatrist is concerned more specifically, the problems are not visible illnesses.
People who are afflicted by life complications are not patients in the usual sense. They can be normal, productive people - as normal as one can be in our community.
Generally, these daily contrarieties may concern interpersonal relationships, the way one works, performance issues... but also the issue of living honestly, in line with one's principles and personal beliefs. Then there are the contrarieties of practical life, which can often accentuate the others.
A lot also depends on our typical behaviours with which we defend ourselves or construct our way of life, and which were formed at an early period - unconsciously imitating people who had meaning in our lives (the so-called character, very succinctly).
Jung argues that the child's unconscious depends on the parental unconscious.
Almost always in my long professional practice I encountered this construct, and I had to struggle to make people understand that it was the parents who triggered the behaviour.
Often when I encountered parents who did not want to accept certain responsibilities, the latter would resort to excuses that did not hold up in any way.
In relationships between individuals, the most annoying issue concerns how we experience our affections.
There are aggressive people who seek people to dominate. There are those who exploit the other (the unwary); and so on.
In love relationships, one has to pay attention to how each one stands towards the other. Let us give some examples.
A woman who suffers because of her spouse who hinders her every development (or vice versa) must understand or be helped to understand that she has somehow sought this situation, and that it is only by finding confidence in her own possibilities and ability to manage herself that she will find relief from her pains.
Otherwise, i.e. if he does not discover his own potential, not even by separating will he solve his problems - because he will unconsciously seek the same kind of spouse.
Only people who are able to respect each other's needs and interests are capable of adult love. We often confuse our own desire with that of the other.
How many times in counselling with couples have I encountered this.
In job difficulties we often find people who move from one job to another because they are not satisfied with the lack of recognition. It may be, for example, an individual with grandiose ideas about his or her aptitudes who has to seek admiration in the work environment .
Then there are people who do creative work and feel that they do not produce as they would like. Here we are often faced with an unachievable perfectionism. Often such individuals are unable to admit that they have limits, and are confronted with their real capabilities.
It then happens that many people turn to an analyst because although they do not have a form of depression, they are not happy with themselves.
In his Psychoanalysis of Contemporary Society, Erich Fromm argues that consumerism leads us to an 'alienation from self'. By 'alienation' he means that which in principle belongs to man and then becomes foreign to him - eventually dominating us.
We must be as others want us to be.
Advertising and fashion itself also consciously influence us, and in this way if we do not conform we can feel backward.
We often get into conflict between our beliefs and the need to 'please' people.
Of course we do not have to be isolationists, but even here a proper balance 'saves' us, since repudiating certain fundamental tenets of our way of being does a lot of damage.
May the coming Christmas enlighten us, show us the way. Not infrequently, here too, we match current population trends, and often forget its true meaning.

Francesco Giovannozzi Psychologist-psychotherapist

47 Last modified on Friday, 20 December 2024 06:25
don Giuseppe Nespeca

Giuseppe Nespeca è architetto e sacerdote. Cultore della Sacra scrittura è autore della raccolta "Due Fuochi due Vie - Religione e Fede, Vangeli e Tao"; coautore del libro "Dialogo e Solstizio".

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“They found”: this word indicates the Search. This is the truth about man. It cannot be falsified. It cannot even be destroyed. It must be left to man because it defines him (John Paul II)
“Trovarono”: questa parola indica la Ricerca. Questa è la verità sull’uomo. Non la si può falsificare. Non la si può nemmeno distruggere. La si deve lasciare all’uomo perché essa lo definisce (Giovanni Paolo II)
Thousands of Christians throughout the world begin the day by singing: “Blessed be the Lord” and end it by proclaiming “the greatness of the Lord, for he has looked with favour on his lowly servant” (Pope Francis)
Migliaia di cristiani in tutto il mondo cominciano la giornata cantando: “Benedetto il Signore” e la concludono “proclamando la sua grandezza perché ha guardato con bontà l’umiltà della sua serva” (Papa Francesco)
The new Creation announced in the suburbs invests the ancient territory, which still hesitates. We too, accepting different horizons than expected, allow the divine soul of the history of salvation to visit us
La nuova Creazione annunciata in periferia investe il territorio antico, che ancora tergiversa. Anche noi, accettando orizzonti differenti dal previsto, consentiamo all’anima divina della storia della salvezza di farci visita
People have a dream: to guess identity and mission. The feast is a sign that the Lord has come to the family
Il popolo ha un Sogno: cogliere la sua identità e missione. La festa è segno che il Signore è giunto in famiglia
“By the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin Mary”. At this sentence we kneel, for the veil that concealed God is lifted, as it were, and his unfathomable and inaccessible mystery touches us: God becomes the Emmanuel, “God-with-us” (Pope Benedict)
«Per opera dello Spirito Santo si è incarnato nel seno della Vergine Maria». A questa frase ci inginocchiamo perché il velo che nascondeva Dio, viene, per così dire, aperto e il suo mistero insondabile e inaccessibile ci tocca: Dio diventa l’Emmanuele, “Dio con noi” (Papa Benedetto)
The ancient priest stagnates, and evaluates based on categories of possibilities; reluctant to the Spirit who moves situationsi
Il sacerdote antico ristagna, e valuta basando su categorie di possibilità; riluttante allo Spirito che smuove le situazioni
«Even through Joseph’s fears, God’s will, his history and his plan were at work. Joseph, then, teaches us that faith in God includes believing that he can work even through our fears, our frailties and our weaknesses. He also teaches us that amid the tempests of life, we must never be afraid to let the Lord steer our course. At times, we want to be in complete control, yet God always sees the bigger picture» (Patris Corde, n.2).
«Anche attraverso l’angustia di Giuseppe passa la volontà di Dio, la sua storia, il suo progetto. Giuseppe ci insegna così che avere fede in Dio comprende pure il credere che Egli può operare anche attraverso le nostre paure, le nostre fragilità, la nostra debolezza. E ci insegna che, in mezzo alle tempeste della vita, non dobbiamo temere di lasciare a Dio il timone della nostra barca. A volte noi vorremmo controllare tutto, ma Lui ha sempre uno sguardo più grande» (Patris Corde, n.2).
Man is the surname of God: the Lord in fact takes his name from each of us - whether we are saints or sinners - to make him our surname (Pope Francis). God's fidelity to the Promise is realized not only through men, but with them (Pope Benedict).

Due Fuochi due Vie - Vol. 1 Due Fuochi due Vie - Vol. 2 Due Fuochi due Vie - Vol. 3 Due Fuochi due Vie - Vol. 4 Due Fuochi due Vie - Vol. 5 Dialogo e Solstizio I fiammiferi di Maria

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