Dec 20, 2024 Written by 

COMPLEXITIES OF EXISTENCE (by Francesco Giovannozzi, psychologist and psychotherapist)

The complexities of existence.
Life is not always easy and the complexities of existence have always existed; they accompany us along the path of our daily lives.
In times gone by, it was often the family doctor who listened to them and associated them as related to the health of his patients and gave them advice.
When, on the other hand, the difficulties were of an ethical nature, people turned to the priest who, through accompaniment and confession, gave suggestions on how to redeem themselves.
Later, with the discovery of psychology in its various forms, people became concerned with human problems. The figure of the psychologist in the broad sense or the psychiatrist joined the previous figures. As far as the field of the psychiatrist is concerned more specifically, the problems are not visible illnesses.
People who are afflicted by life complications are not patients in the usual sense. They can be normal, productive people - as normal as one can be in our community.
Generally, these daily contrarieties may concern interpersonal relationships, the way one works, performance issues... but also the issue of living honestly, in line with one's principles and personal beliefs. Then there are the contrarieties of practical life, which can often accentuate the others.
A lot also depends on our typical behaviours with which we defend ourselves or construct our way of life, and which were formed at an early period - unconsciously imitating people who had meaning in our lives (the so-called character, very succinctly).
Jung argues that the child's unconscious depends on the parental unconscious.
Almost always in my long professional practice I encountered this construct, and I had to struggle to make people understand that it was the parents who triggered the behaviour.
Often when I encountered parents who did not want to accept certain responsibilities, the latter would resort to excuses that did not hold up in any way.
In relationships between individuals, the most annoying issue concerns how we experience our affections.
There are aggressive people who seek people to dominate. There are those who exploit the other (the unwary); and so on.
In love relationships, one has to pay attention to how each one stands towards the other. Let us give some examples.
A woman who suffers because of her spouse who hinders her every development (or vice versa) must understand or be helped to understand that she has somehow sought this situation, and that it is only by finding confidence in her own possibilities and ability to manage herself that she will find relief from her pains.
Otherwise, i.e. if he does not discover his own potential, not even by separating will he solve his problems - because he will unconsciously seek the same kind of spouse.
Only people who are able to respect each other's needs and interests are capable of adult love. We often confuse our own desire with that of the other.
How many times in counselling with couples have I encountered this.
In job difficulties we often find people who move from one job to another because they are not satisfied with the lack of recognition. It may be, for example, an individual with grandiose ideas about his or her aptitudes who has to seek admiration in the work environment .
Then there are people who do creative work and feel that they do not produce as they would like. Here we are often faced with an unachievable perfectionism. Often such individuals are unable to admit that they have limits, and are confronted with their real capabilities.
It then happens that many people turn to an analyst because although they do not have a form of depression, they are not happy with themselves.
In his Psychoanalysis of Contemporary Society, Erich Fromm argues that consumerism leads us to an 'alienation from self'. By 'alienation' he means that which in principle belongs to man and then becomes foreign to him - eventually dominating us.
We must be as others want us to be.
Advertising and fashion itself also consciously influence us, and in this way if we do not conform we can feel backward.
We often get into conflict between our beliefs and the need to 'please' people.
Of course we do not have to be isolationists, but even here a proper balance 'saves' us, since repudiating certain fundamental tenets of our way of being does a lot of damage.
May the coming Christmas enlighten us, show us the way. Not infrequently, here too, we match current population trends, and often forget its true meaning.

Francesco Giovannozzi Psychologist-psychotherapist

749 Last modified on Friday, 20 December 2024 06:25
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Giuseppe Nespeca è architetto e sacerdote. Cultore della Sacra scrittura è autore della raccolta "Due Fuochi due Vie - Religione e Fede, Vangeli e Tao"; coautore del libro "Dialogo e Solstizio".

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In reality, an abstract, distant god is more comfortable, one that doesn’t get himself involved in situations and who accepts a faith that is far from life, from problems, from society. Or we would even like to believe in a ‘special effects’ god (Pope Francis)
In realtà, è più comodo un dio astratto, distante, che non si immischia nelle situazioni e che accetta una fede lontana dalla vita, dai problemi, dalla società. Oppure ci piace credere a un dio “dagli effetti speciali” (Papa Francesco)
It is as though you were given a parcel with a gift inside and, rather than going to open the gift, you look only at the paper it is wrapped in: only appearances, the form, and not the core of the grace, of the gift that is given! (Pope Francis)
È come se a te regalassero un pacchetto con dentro un dono e tu, invece di andare a cercare il dono, guardi soltanto la carta nel quale è incartato: soltanto le apparenze, la forma, e non il nocciolo della grazia, del dono che viene dato! (Papa Francesco)
The Evangelists Matthew and Luke (cf. Mt 11:25-30 and Lk 10:21-22) have handed down to us a “jewel” of Jesus’ prayer that is often called the Cry of Exultation or the Cry of Messianic Exultation. It is a prayer of thanksgiving and praise [Pope Benedict]
Gli evangelisti Matteo e Luca (cfr Mt 11,25-30 e Lc 10, 21-22) ci hanno tramandato un «gioiello» della preghiera di Gesù, che spesso viene chiamato Inno di giubilo o Inno di giubilo messianico. Si tratta di una preghiera di riconoscenza e di lode [Papa Benedetto]
It may have been a moment of disillusionment, of that extreme disillusionment and the perception of his own failure. But at that instant of sadness, in that dark instant Francis prays. How does he pray? “Praised be You, my Lord…”. He prays by giving praise [Pope Francis]
Potrebbe essere il momento della delusione, di quella delusione estrema e della percezione del proprio fallimento. Ma Francesco in quell’istante di tristezza, in quell’istante buio prega. Come prega? “Laudato si’, mi Signore…”. Prega lodando [Papa Francesco]
The Lord has our good at heart, that is, that every person should have life, and that especially the "least" of his children may have access to the banquet he has prepared for all (Pope Benedict)
Al Signore sta a cuore il nostro bene, cioè che ogni uomo abbia la vita, e che specialmente i suoi figli più "piccoli" possano accedere al banchetto che lui ha preparato per tutti (Papa Benedetto)
As the cross can be reduced to being an ornament, “to carry the cross” can become just a manner of speaking (John Paul II)
Come la croce può ridursi ad oggetto ornamentale, così "portare la croce" può diventare un modo di dire (Giovanni Paolo II)
Without love, even the most important activities lose their value and give no joy. Without a profound meaning, all our activities are reduced to sterile and unorganised activism (Pope Benedict)
Senza amore, anche le attività più importanti perdono di valore, e non danno gioia. Senza un significato profondo, tutto il nostro fare si riduce ad attivismo sterile e disordinato (Papa Benedetto)
Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom? (Pope Benedict)

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