(Jn 12:20-33)
"If the grain of wheat that falls to the ground does not die, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit" [Jn 12:24].
We ask ourselves: how is it possible in any situation to make precious things sprout? What is the best way to take care of oneself? How can one become fruitful without shrinking one's living space?
What draws its own sap even from traumas, discomforts, failures, or what does not leave us calm? What about the pleasure of living? Can we experience at least brief moments of eternity?
Is Christ really able to give our existence a shot in the arm, make life explode - manage commitments differently, and revel in happiness?
Or does he definitively dig our grave, with his Hiding (which seems to be a death option)?
We are already widely introduced, but perhaps we do not feel aware enough: we would like to go deeper, and perhaps from being mere admirers become Apostles - involved in Jesus' spirited and growing secret.
In advancing on the spiritual journey, we discover that it is not enough to be far from idols and celebrate faith: we desire to take further steps (vv.20-22), to experience immense gifts.
We want fullness, expansion, joy; not to be suffocated in tasks without enchantment, in mechanisms without lyrical step.
And enter into the Faith that is already non-compulsive love - thus accessing integral salvation.
We desire to be in wholeness - and that of the grain of wheat that rots by becoming the vessel of perfect wholeness is not an invitation to accumulate labours, nor to (intimist or cathartic) dolorismo, but to total luxuriance.
In short, there is a crisis between attachment to the established and approved self, and discipleship without those anxieties within. Discipleship that leads to fulfilled joy: seeing oneself develop, expand, flourish - manifesting one's entire life-wave in a new form.
Jn presents the first contact of the already believers with foreigners by bringing in 'Greeks' who had arrived in Jerusalem to go up to the Temple for the great feast of Passover.
Perhaps they wished to "see Jesus" as the star of the moment - but in Him they encounter a gift proposal at the antipodes of the Hellenist conception. The contrast in the background of the episode is sharp.
In Greece, the term 'aristoi' was coined to indicate successful people, who stood out from the rest: the best. They were the outstanding, those who achieved prestige, fame, visibility, substantial honours.
The Master removes the veil of [even then ecclesiastical] insipient illusions. He considers this ideal of life insipid.
And he explains what Glory consists of: 'falling to the ground' - so that it is the latter and its hidden energies that regenerate our and others' destinies.
In short, in every person there are dormant forces waiting - even if one does not want to admit them.
They demand their own way; not models. As such, they are only released when we do not rush to fix things as they 'should be'.
We sometimes feel the unconscious wanting an evolution; but the unexpressed faces do not emerge... the primordial virtues remain stifled.
Perhaps even in the time of global crisis we pretend to continue like this, to float on procedures, disinterested in Life as source - undisguised, in the round and without sequins.
Those who still think conformistically remain in the enclosure... which has become the grave of the soul.
He retreats into fatuous glory, remains at a safe distance from other possibilities, and loses the self that gives rise to the future.
In fact, the Tao Tê Ching (xxviii) says: "He who knows himself to be glorious and keeps himself in ignominy, is the valley of the world; being the valley of the world, virtue always stops in him, and he returns to being crude. When that which is crude is cut off, then they make instruments of it; when the holy man uses it, then he makes himself the first among ministers".
The best way to "see" the Lord [v.21b - that is, to understand and experience his life-giving Face] seems to be to approach a natural process.
And the evangelical image is taken from the agricultural world.
For ears of grain to sprout in a field, it is necessary for the grains to disappear into the earth, slipping into oblivion.
Only from a transmutation (without resistance) can the prodigy blossom: a process of new genesis and development, and that birth that brings the hundredfold [genesis well expanded, e.g. by comparison with the petty hopes of a social role].
The stakes are staggering: it seems paradoxical, but life does not develop from some contrived purpose, but from the very nature of the seed, which has a special vitality within.
To realise what characterises us, success or the ability to make oneself 'director' has nothing to do with it.On the contrary, perhaps it is better to learn to wait, and to act slowly, accommodating the sap that comes - rather than hastily becoming people 'with' considerable social standing.
Nor can we get away with setting up a substitute religious observance that does not correspond to us and that we do not want, which often [trying to put things right, instantly, on the outside] turns into a reservoir of inner discomfort and neurosis.
Activated by the paradoxical Mystery, which calls by Name, step by step and wisely, we are invited to respect real processes and overall developments.
Missional growth in fullness of personality and being is all natural - and only in this way does it counteract oppositions, or rather seize them as opportunities that ignite the path, and appropriately divert it.
Our development is global growth.
It counteracts every false inner voice or outer power: heterodirected inclinations - aimed at appearance. [Rushing to be recognised at first sight... all cheap opinions; far from the roots of essence and metamorphosis].
Based on his own experience, Jesus means:
Life companion of the Prophet who corresponds to his own 'absurd' Calling is not the d'emblée (static, of self) affirmation that gives no room for the unexpressed dream.
Rather, it is the loneliness, the standing in the corner, the not being sought after - and feeling treated as inadequate, dishonourable or failed (by the very experts and people of rank).
This kind of frank practice with oneself, God and men is not to be done by taking candyfloss shortcuts: one has to meet our own and others' 'downsides'.
The path of fatuous relationships - of façade, often suffered and overweight - will never match us.
That's right: we will only go straight to the goal by entering into a new normal: to turn over a new leaf, remaining focused on our authentic character pattern, where God's unpredictable call to freedom instinct lurks.
Bitter situations will prove transient.
And if in the meantime we have not let go because of some lack of recognition or belonging, history will find us somewhere else.
But let us continually beware of spiritual proposals that are not very evangelical - indeed, lacking in re-birth.
The wise dimension of the 'Dying Grain' is not about voluntarism and self-control, which will baffle us inside, diminishing the sacred Oneness of soul and Vocation.
Discipline of manner that takes as its 'model' the already established [and "how we should be"] will only pass on lacerations; it will make us sick!
Excessive control in fact, in every concrete circumstance will dampen our exceptional inclination to be varied, will bleed the personal Mystery, and the growing flowering of New Life.
Instead, the Lord wants us ready to recreate ourselves and regenerate the world - even in times of global crisis.
In short, 'adequate' expectations are double-edged weapons, absurd alibis; clouded ideals - produced by artifice. Without any Mystery breathing within.
Those who hand over their reputations seem to rot, yet (like Jesus) will find immensity of harvest.
The Sign of the Bread helps us to be under no illusions: the disciples' ministry is not to shut itself away, not even to narrate external admiration and remain in the den - but to make it 'seen'.
Even in times of overall upheaval.
To internalise and live the message:
In what do you recognise the trammels of life, or to what do you accord the highest honour?
