The ham.
The Treccani dictionary defines ‘ham’ as: ‘one who acts in theatrical performances’. In common parlance and in a figurative sense: ‘someone who adopts exaggeratedly theatrical behaviour in life; someone who puts on a show in a blatant and undignified manner’.
Many years ago, when I was still a teenager, Charles Aznavour released a beautiful song containing these words: ‘I am a ham. But genius was born with me […] but theatricality flows within me’.
A song which, if I’m not mistaken, was later covered by Massimo Ranieri some time later.
Perhaps those of us who are a bit older will also remember the original version.
A few days ago, I bumped into a young man with a VIP-like air about him, whom I’ve known since he was born.
He stopped, greeted me warmly and began telling me about his life, his work in the world of politics and his travels.
He said that one of his goals is to visit the wonders of the world and that he’d just returned from one such destination. He solemnly declared that he’d already visited several of them.
All this without me having asked anything, partly because he didn’t give me the chance.
He was too caught up in his soliloquy and I was merely a spectator.
At the end of his speech, he tells me that he has completed dental treatment for a tooth that had been causing him a great deal of trouble and that he is still in pain […] he lists the medicines he is taking. Then he looks at me and ironically reiterates that when doctors encounter difficulties in their work, they always say it’s down to the mind.
And here came a thunderous laugh, coupled with all the ‘pathos’ with which he’d woven his narrative.
The only thing missing was the final round of applause, which didn’t come. Just a cordial ‘goodbye’. My professional bias kicked in as I reflected on what had happened.
There are people who, rather than simply connecting with others, need to put on a show and seek the approval of others.
This is something we all do to a certain extent, within acceptable limits, and it gives us pleasure. Such people sometimes go in search of an ‘audience’ where they can express and display their feelings and experiences, without worrying about building a relationship or a genuine connection – and once they have communicated their emotions, they leave quickly, often in search of another ‘audience’.
They must always be the centre of attention and often express their emotions in a theatrical manner. Everything they achieve is something grand; all their actions are ‘a triumph’.
Behind this behaviour, there is usually an enormous fear of being alone, of being abandoned. Of course, we all have these fears to some extent, but we do not resort to compensatory mechanisms of that sort.
Sometimes we are afraid of certain emotions we feel, as if we feared that what we are feeling is unhealthy.
We must always bear in mind that what happens within our psyche is not entirely random or pathological, but purposeful and constructive. There are not only demons; there are angels too.
I can’t recall whether I’ve already expressed this idea, but I’ll reiterate it because I consider it important and because I think we’ll be less frightened if we realise we’re experiencing certain feelings.
Without referring to psychological manuals or classifications… we’ve all probably experienced feelings like those described above at certain times in our lives.
People with these characteristics are ‘theatrical’ and express their experiences in an exaggerated manner.
They can be seductive or even provocative.
They use their physical appearance in an exaggerated way to get noticed and appear interesting.
They rely more on emotion than on reflection, and tend towards superficiality and banality.
They are also easily influenced and idealise the people they admire; sometimes to the point of imitating them.
They dream of ideal love, but often become involved in unsuitable and unattainable relationships.
They exaggerate every physical sensation, even when there is no actual physical pain.
In severe cases, many people channel and project these emotions onto parts of the body that are psychologically significant to the individual and their personal history.
And so, as the young VIP mentioned above humorously put it, the psyche comes into play.
I do not wish to bore readers or come across as melodramatic myself, but many individuals have often expressed their unease through their bodies.
Some do so more visibly, others in a more subtle way – though perhaps more interesting and fascinating to an ‘insider’.
The literature often refers to ‘hysterical blindness’.
These people are unable to see properly – to a greater or lesser degree. I recall a teenager with visual problems being referred to our department’s psychological assessment (sent by the ophthalmology department).
However, it is not always accepted that objective problems may have an ‘internal’ cause, and so often either the psychological assessment – deemed offensive – is abandoned, or other solutions are sought that may give the illusion of a way out.
It also happens that some individuals, having been referred for an ‘internal’ assessment by leading Italian centres of excellence, but subsequently rejecting what was suggested to them, turn to private practitioners who offer solutions that are, unfortunately, sometimes harmful.
Dr Francesco Giovannozzi, Psychologist and Psychotherapist.
