Mt 19:3-12 (cf. Gen 2:18-24)

We are familiar with the fluctuations of our emotionality: the person who now makes me lose my head, in a week's time will perhaps strike a nerve. Every morning we get up in a different mood; after a while the psyche gives opposite signals, then returns to its previous positions.

Obviously the invisible thread of the relationship cannot succeed happily and firmly if the assumptions are only seductive: it will end in an escalation of apathy or arguments.

The Word of God proposes a very wise discernment for engaged couples: the new birth.

A girl will leave her father if in the flamboyant relationship she discovers a prospect of improved security, and even greater fatherhood or protection possibilities; a young man will leave his mother if in the torch of the new relationship he sees a principle of welcome, listening and understanding unknown or superior to his own mother.

New Genesis: this is the unrenounceable vocational perspective, the only one capable of integrating the fatigue of putting oneself on the line and welcoming the idea in two of being able to also step out of one's own positions - even those at the beginning of the relationship.

In falling in love we allow ourselves to be activated and traversed by a mysterious Force that [even beyond the charm of the partner] wants to lead us to a sort of unleashing of hidden energies, in the incessant search for identity-character.

Love originates us, it leads us along a path not without interruptions, which incessantly force us back to the Beginning; to re-choose the values on which we have gambled. Hence, to be born and to begin anew, unexpectedly becoming more and more 'young'.

That flaming torch will make us make extraordinary encounters, first of all in the meaningful direction of the regenerated intimate; thus there will be no more need to capture the spouse, to keep him or her still or close to him or her.

It is the sacred desire that creates us; then - at Two - it becomes even more effectively the substance of what each one is called to be - through steps of happiness that prepare a new origination, a distinct outline and destiny.

All this so that from wave to wave, from birth to birth, and under the stimulus of continuous Dialogue, our essence is fulfilled, allowing the profound Calling by Name to flourish.

Natural complementarity can wear away with age, fatigue, frustrations. On the other hand, a reflection of absolute Love, which postpones and gives vertigo [because it places us in plots outside of time] is a spectacle that shakes, moves and conquers.

Irradiating God who creates (within us and in relationship), reflecting a great unceasing Origin within human unity, makes us be together - in two but with ourselves present, and be-With our Root.

An innate Source that does not express itself in straitjackets or in an identification: it gives meaning and breath even to the secondary, the repetitive and everyday that undermines - and seems to want us to fade into disenchantment.

If the idea of the Principle is always at home, it will no longer be necessary for the bark of everyday life to change, nor for too many situations to change: it is that glimpse of Eternity that makes one re-born into the (personal but complete) human project of Genesis.

It is a Presence... and a Source that generates, and the Life Horizon of the One who puts Himself into things... that changes so much of our little things.

The Action of the One who gives birth to the ancient and new radiance of the soul makes us grow and be born again, to be both with ourselves and more firmly together.

The Family becomes a small 'domestic church' from which 'the new citizens of human society are born' (Lumen Gentium no.11).

It thus manifests and unfolds the icon of a God who does not express Himself rigidly, but in creating.

Thanks to Parents who are able to second the "vocation proper to each one", in the new beginnings and in the rush of successive sprouts and buds each sapling "will leave his father and mother".

To internalise and live the message:

What more has the church experience given you in understanding the man-woman relationship? What about communion and autonomy?

Legalistic conception and hardness of heart

(Mt 19:3-12)

The polemic with the fanatics of the law emphasises the need for a new messianic community, which overcomes the exclusively legalistic moral conception.

The theme chosen by the Pharisees lent itself to challenging Jesus on the ideal of love.

The marriage law of the time required the wife to make herself the husband's property.

So in any case, divorce reverberated against the woman, always seen as an inferior being.

In the society of the time, macho domination and marginalisation of the weak were established situations.

In order to protect the woman's own freedom (Deut 24:1-4), the law required that the fed-up husband [even for a trifle or whim] should write a divorce 'letter' anyway, sanctioning her freedom.Unlike Roman society, the wife did not have the same right: a social plague, which obscured her dignity. In practice, she was like an object and a slave even in her own home.

But in creating the human being, this was not the Creator's intent. So Jesus removed privileges - even domestic privileges - demanding maximum equality of rights and duties.

He knew that the apostles themselves preferred not to marry than to renounce the exclusivity of leadership, even if only to scapegoat: "If the man's situation with the woman is like this, it is not good to marry" (Mt 19:10).

The Master does not allow the dominion of the strong over the weak; therefore man must lose his hegemony over woman.

The new law is love, and love does not allow possessions, emotional exploitation, fixed chains of command.

Both marriage and celibacy are choices that recognise the value of the Person. Awe-inspiring options for the sake of the Kingdom of God - not in the service of any compromise, supremacy, or other vested interests.

The divine plan for humanity is transparent, broad and generous. The marriage union itself - without being bound by domination or sector - is called to express the goal of fullness.

The stronger does not buy the weaker in property, but [shading from those rigid positions, without hypocrisy and field compromises] both enrich each other - with fairness and even in the divergences, taken as advanced points of a proposal of growth and expansion.

Christ demands a new approach to ethics [once 'jurisdiction-based'], now marked by primary values. This is beyond regulations, which seek to adapt to order... perhaps curbing our parodies, or mediocrity.

Thus, Christ's teaching here appeals to the divine creative Act, which in the nature of a person has engrained a capacity for gift and growth - and which cannot be regulated by contract clauses, nor subjected to conditioning and subjection.

The seed of love must be entrusted to the earth, even muddy soil; aware of one's own weakness and the power of other providential forces.

Even with steep or uncertain ground, if one does not rush into artificial prejudices (or lamentations of ingratitude) the very interweaving of the roots will genuinely produce its flowering.

In such a spontaneous, non-subordinate energetic current, a different self-denial will be built - where the given fact from being regular becomes an overcoming that unleashes other virtues or views.

Here, the step of Faith builds persons and communities, completing them (without too much acceleration, or imperial restrictions). For a Love that unceasingly originates us.

The Family thus becomes a 'little domestic Church' because it is both autonomous and inclusive; without nomenclature, compromises, masks, gags or straitjackets.

Then complementarity lived authentically - without externalities - can go beyond the casuistry of ordinances: it has good personal and social outcomes, evoking the very Presence of God in the world.

Let the excluded come to Me

The Renunciation of Pride and Fear without Citizenship

(Mk 10:13-16)

After the surprising advice on equality in the relationship between man and woman, Jesus ups the ante by proclaiming not only the dignity of relationships between adults and children, but also between community veterans and incipients.

For the incipients, the Kingdom of God was their thing and their work. It did not come to humanity as a Gift - first and foremost to be received - but (according to the pattern) it had to be attained by corresponding observances and merits.

In the Gospel passage Christ does not speak of irresponsible childishness - a criterion unfortunately abused in asceticism (and one that makes one lacking)

No one can occupy the Lord's role on earth, simply because He remains Present and Coming; not manipulative.

If we become simple and childlike, we are so only before God: no institution can be a substitute for Jesus.

In the past, a humanly evasive Christology has unfortunately matched triumphalist ecclesiology.

In front of it - especially in provincial or mission territories - people considered puerile could sometimes fulfil it with uncritical fideism. At most, utter a few babblings (mystical or formulaic).

At the time of Jesus, failure to observe the rules of purity excluded from worship and social life both infants and those considered unfaithful or mixed, despite the fact that they gave clear evidence of solid charity.

The Greek term used - paidìon-paidìa diminutive of pàis - indicated an age between 8-12 years, typical of shop assistants and servants who in the home had to take orders from others (even strangers).

The Master took these children as an example of helpfulness, primarily for his zealous Apostles.

The latter in fact did not immediately and spontaneously enter into the way of God's family... as a true believer would into that of the Father.Only those who have the openness of children can welcome salvation, because they feel small, remain receptive, humbly know how to start again and even from below.

Jesus identifies Himself with the infirm (v.16). And in no uncertain terms he even intends to propose them to the veteran followers!

This is precisely to indicate the kind of believer he dreams of them becoming (v.15): the person who recognises the legitimate desires of others, and does not make too much fuss if he sees himself diminished in social consideration.

Church leaders not infrequently already in the early days felt themselves to be experts and self-sufficient....

Conversely, they must be ready in Christ Jesus to be born again and again, otherwise their eye will remain diseased with a caricatured and blocked vision of the Kingdom.

Those who do not trust the Father's plan will not proceed with spontaneity and generosity: they will only move forward if reassured upstream, playing a stagnant character, or a well-reciprocated task.

The small and insufficient one, on the other hand, has far fewer mental reservations - as well as fewer practical ballasts: he throws himself genuinely and enthusiastically into the enterprises of the adventure of Faith.

All this while for the 'chosen ones' (even of the official Church) the 'uncertain ones' do not count or represent anything - if not a frame sometimes useful to make numbers, but often also annoying.

Before the far-flung could approach actual inward acceptance (or mere consideration), the Judaizers wanted to subject those who approached the threshold of the churches to a lengthy and artificial verification.

This involved a kind of discipline of the arcane (typical of the various devotions) and a nerve-wracking rigmarole of code and casuistry corrections - all to be verified over time.

Jesus, on the other hand, has no qualms about directly 'touching' (v.13) those considered unclean, women, little boys or their mothers: an obscenity according to the ritual norms of the time.

Women and children - along with pagans - were considered untrustworthy and impure beings by nature, indeed defiling.

The Master has no fear of transgressing the religious law, or of being evaluated as infected Himself!

The Kingdom does not belong to the sterilised who haunt the lives of others with precepts of legal impurity; futile, external, hypocritical, senseless minutiae.

Christ embraces, blesses, lays his hand on the servants - as if to recognise them and truly consecrate them - taking into himself the unpromoted of the 'synagogues' of the time: he mirrors himself in them as if he were one of them.

It means that the disciples' concern must not be that of traditional re-education, common to all the various more or less mysterious creeds of the time.

On the contrary, the most eloquent sign of the Kingdom of God on earth is precisely the welcoming spirit of the marginalised: those who do not even know what it means to claim rights only for themselves.

Incidentally - as we well experience simply by observing our own realities - the discarded are not infrequently better introduced into the practice of even summary charity than those in roles of disembodied prestige.

Pretensions and mere sophistry degrade the concreteness of discipleship. They exclude the specific value of the new Kingdom, to the point of transforming and corrupting it - turning it upside down into caricature.

The quality of Life in the Spirit is measured by the capacity to recover the opposite sides in each believer who has the desire to walk towards his or her own completeness.

Thus, in Community this dynamic of recovery increases and recovers thanks to the integration that becomes fruitful conviviality of differences.

Welcoming, accommodating the weak, the distant, the small and the excluded is personal and communal enrichment - an eloquent sign of the same life and divine character in us and in the Church. Not a winning institution, but a servant of humanity in need of everything.

And it is precisely the little ones - totally deprived of the spirit of self-sufficiency - who in Christ become professors of the adults, that is to say, of the life-long leaders, chiefs, veterans and super-Apostles.

This is the angelic modesty and evangelical littleness that makes us emancipated and immediately equal; but above all happy, content to be minors (even misunderstood).

In short, the Kingdom is not an environment for self-sufficient adults.

To internalise and live the message:

What have you learnt from the distant ones and their call? And is your community ready for welcome, for hospitality?

Or does it consider itself self-sufficient, and is it only a big player in alms-giving - turning others into objects of paternalism?

The Feeling without citizenship

In the synodal journey, listening must take into account the sensus fidei, but it must not overlook all those 'presentiments' embodied where we would not expect it: there may be a 'sniff without citizenship', but it is no less effective. The Holy Spirit in his freedom knows no boundaries, nor does he allow himself to be limited by affiliations. If the parish is the home of everyone in the neighbourhood, not an exclusive club, I recommend: leave the doors and windows open, do not limit yourself to considering only those who attend or think like you - that will be 3, 4 or 5%, no more. Allow everyone to come in... Allow yourself to go out and let yourself be questioned, let their questions be your questions, allow yourself to walk together: the Spirit will lead you, trust the Spirit. Do not be afraid to enter into dialogue and allow yourselves to be moved by the dialogue: it is the dialogue of salvation.

Do not be disenchanted, be prepared for surprises. There is an episode in the book of Numbers (ch. 22) that tells of a donkey who will become a prophetess of God. The Jews are concluding the long journey that will lead them to the promised land. Their passage frightens King Balak of Moab, who relies on the powers of the magician Balaam to stop the people, hoping to avoid a war. The magician, in his believing way, asks God what to do. God tells him not to humour the king, but he insists, so he relents and mounts a donkey to fulfil the command he has received. But the donkey changes course because it sees an angel with an unsheathed sword standing there to represent God's opposition. Balaam pulls her, beating her, without succeeding in getting her back on the path. Until the donkey starts talking, initiating a dialogue that will open the magician's eyes, transforming his mission of curse and death into a mission of blessing and life.

This story teaches us to trust that the Spirit will always make its voice heard. Even a donkey can become the voice of God, opening our eyes and converting our wrong directions. If a donkey can do it, how much more so can a baptised person, a priest, a bishop, a pope. It is enough to entrust ourselves to the Holy Spirit who uses all creatures to speak to us: he only asks us to clean our ears to hear properly.

(Pope Francis, Speech 18 September 2021)

Cf 19(s) ok; 27 B (2)