Mystery of Love and Eros

Jn 21:15-19 (1-19)

The same sign of the superabundant peach in Lk 5:1-11 does not concern the story of the Church after Easter, but is even placed in the day when Jesus invites the first disciples to follow him to become "fishers" of men.

The prodigy of the Vocation expands the believer's journey in Christ and affects every experience we can have of the Risen One in our ordinary work - and which Mission is entrusted to us in order to experience Him Alive.

The Church is not composed of phenomena, but of a stubborn and eager leader [Peter]. Some are in and out [Thomas], others remain tied to the past [Nathanael], and there is no shortage of fanatics [the sons of Zebedee]; hence the anonymous, that is, all of us.

Peter realises that before giving orders, he must do and expose himself: if so, the others, although insubordinate, will decide spontaneously (v.3), expanding their lives.

But without the torch of the Word, no results. Following Peter is not enough and does not save anyone.

Here is Jesus: on the shore of the ultimate condition he calls us and leads the way, he leads the way of activity, and he is finally Light - the Dawn.

The net must be cast from the "right side" (v.6), i.e. the good side!

In order to pull people up from the depths of polluted waters and billows of death to a possibility of respite or self-esteem and full life, one must begin and aim for the best in each one, bring out the good that is always there.

Reminder for us. Every culture possesses many qualities: let us build on them, instead of approaching women and men, ethnic groups or situations, by pointing out limitations and problems.

So the Peter - each community leader - must have no preconceived notions, but take off the cassock of group leader and gird himself in the apron of a servant [v.7: the Greek verb is that of the washing of feet].

For work that gives results according to God (love) one must wear the same garment as Christ - the only badge: the garment of one who does not give orders, but receives them.

This is the trait of the authentic Church - nothing great: it does not arrive on an ocean liner, but on a "little boat" [v.8 Greek text].

And it remains low-key: like a little leaven, to embrace all.

Despite the difficulties in believing, the disciples are constituted as heralds of the news of God favourable to humanity that intends to journey towards itself - without the baggage of overwhelming accumulations of manner.

For communion with God and one's brothers and sisters, in the journey of life and the sense of rebirth that lurks therein [e.g. after pain, travails, experiences of rejection, thoughts of failure and death...]. Jesus had brought out the transmutative capacities already in dowry to each one.

His proposal had supplanted the oppressive yoke of the external perfections preached by religion, replaced precisely with our simple family virtues, grasped from within. Not: to fight, but to welcome. Not: to obey, but to resemble. And so on.

The church was not to become an ethical communion of saints, but of sinners and unbelievers. The story of the unbelieving apostles comforts us: we are already empowered, and with aptitude for fullness. But in its reversal.

It is the resurrection that sends us among men, precisely to be regenerated; just like us. So the apostle status is not subject to the usual doctrinal, moralistic, customary, and religious rigmarole; it no longer lags behind.

Although self-belief remains fragile, we continually experience resurrection from our rubble - raising or at best regenerating the entire organism of the spirit, and the inner universe.

All this shapes a different consciousness of inadequacy: that in Faith - only positive, because it understands the brothers. He recognises them in the depths of himself, and in this way he knows how to justify the resistance to the Announcement.

For it is in the recovery of opposing sides and the synergy of contradictions that we have become - in our own - experts in difficulty. More able to grasp the discomforts; even the feeling of feeling emptied, which sooner or later will give way to the upheaval; unprecedented happy.

Then we have learnt about listening to emotions: the sense of being overwhelmed - even in ideas. And the need to grasp and lose ourselves in sorrows, absurd or unbearable. Dignified sides; faces of ourselves.

In short, for the purpose of vocational fulfilment, everyone is already 'perfect'.

In its bearer of dissimilar energies, it just has to learn to meet the reliefs of itself that it has not yet made way for.

As if within us we have a multiplicity of aspects, often all to be discovered, behind some shell that resists - which complete us and infallibly guide us to personal and social blossoming.

Thus in the exodus we move from death-resurrection experience to true witness - in the spontaneous frankness of being enabled as evangelisers.

Which surprises us. But now the Message becomes our own.It becomes a call for peace, but an explosive one - unbelievable, and one can see this more from its limits (now nothing to fear) than from its ability, or its external style, its ability to set up sententious cathedrals and showcases.

After Christ, there is no longer any need to 'improve' according to a common meaning - nor any expectation, or purpose, that looks to and drinks from the fountain of what has already been said by others [in the past, or for fashion], which then places us back in the same predictable situation as always.

For the shaky apostles, consensus, ancient or glamorous religion, identification, were self-denial at heart.

Conversely, the Calling by Name became the development of what each person was deep inside and had not given himself, manipulating himself.

Road of self-realisation, also in our contribution to our brothers. Also not intimately dissociated.

The only convincing weapon, genuineness - burning within to make us shrines, unconscious and incomplete but living.

Contemplative and in action. Only way to meet souls.

We are collaborators of the apron, to dialogue with those in need of recovery, in whatever condition of whirlwind or periphery they find themselves.

Therefore, 'to shepherd' (vv.15-17) means to precede and nourish, not to command.

Those who lead must be a sign of a God who does not get fed up or repent.

Loving and inviting face of the One who is able to amaze and set Simon on his feet. The chief apostle, who had been called to freedom and had chosen the condition of lackey [cf. Jn 21:9; with the "fire of embers" in Jn 18:18].

At the end of a game of re-proposals, in the dialogue with Simon himself - "of John" because he is still spiritually a pupil of the Baptist (!) - it is Jesus who "settles" for a love of friendship [cf. Greek text] by modifying the double question "do you love me?" with the third: "do you love me?".

Human love waits for a minimum of satisfaction, it fails to shape itself into pure loss - it waits for something, at least a nod of approval and gratitude.

No recognition? Then it is the Strongest who yields.

'To wait' is the infinitive of the verb 'to love', because it allows one to be born again.

Human feeling is in a hurry: it regulates its conduct on the basis of the success or perfections of the beloved.

Divine Love makes up for it; it helps to become another 'person', in the round - it does not break the understanding.

His Calling is not tied to merit or performance: even through works, saying 'I love you' is (unfortunately not infrequently) a fatuous declaration.

Or a sincere expression, but often animated by enthusiasm without a deep root, which on a subsequent test of facts transforms the oath of fidelity into a fragile and uncertain sentiment.

It is the awareness of one's own unpresentability gratuitously redeemed and transformed into the ground of absurd confidence, which transforms self-conceit into apostolate!

This is why Jesus asks Peter to begin by starting with the little ones of the flock (v.15).

And 'to pasture' (vv.15.17) or 'to shepherd' (v.16) means 'to feed': to nurture, to care for, to protect, to favour; to initiate, to risk personally, to defend and to put one's face on - not 'to command'.

To graze is to make oneself present, in a continuous of references. It is this climate that convinces, educates, feeds and sustains, allowing it to grow and flourish.

"To 'shepherd' is [precisely] not to rule, but to feed the ideal. And to begin with the little flock (v.15).

In short, in order to secure the 'happy' outcome, the true believer, the friend of the Lord, the child of God, does not ally himself with people who matter, then we shall see.

Nor must it 'fish' for proselytes, but rather dilate and cheer life.

The fullness of the 'result' is the Happiness of each and every real person - as it is - not as it 'should be' according to established opinion.

In fact, Jesus does not ask Peter: are you a good steward? Are you a good organiser? Are you a skilful animator? Are you equipped, intelligent, cunning and introduced enough to stand up to your adversaries?

So God's 'enemy' is not uncertainty or sin - obsession that breeds the unbalanced - but the pursuit of the 'average life'. They quagmire where one does not throw oneself.

[A reflection for the Scoutmaster reads: "Remember, Scoutmaster: if you slow down, they stop; if you yield, they back off; if you sit down, they lie down. If you walk ahead, they will overtake you; if you give your hand, they will give their skin'].

To internalise and live the message:

Are you an envoy or a mere admirer?

What is your personal Source?

What is the Source of your relationships?

And the root of all faithfulness and generosity that draws you, and shows you?

Total love and not

The school of faith is not a triumphal march, but a path strewn with suffering and love, trials and faithfulness to be renewed every day. Peter, who had promised absolute faithfulness, knows the bitterness and humiliation of denial: the swaggerer learns humility to his cost. Peter too must learn to be weak and in need of forgiveness. When his mask finally falls off and he realises the truth of his weak heart as a believing sinner, he bursts into a liberating cry of repentance. After this weeping he is now ready for his mission.

On a spring morning, this mission will be entrusted to him by the risen Jesus. The encounter takes place on the shores of Lake Tiberias. It is the evangelist John who relates to us the dialogue that takes place between Jesus and Peter on that occasion. There is a very significant play on verbs. In Greek, the verb "filéo" expresses the love of friendship, tender but not all-embracing, while the verb "agapáo" means love without reserve, total and unconditional. Jesus asks Peter the first time: "Simon... do you love me (agapâs-me)" with this total and unconditional love (cf. Jn 21:15)? Before the experience of betrayal, the Apostle would certainly have said: 'I love you (agapô-se) unconditionally'. Now that he has known the bitter sadness of infidelity, the drama of his own weakness, he says with humility: 'Lord, I love you (filô-se)', that is, 'I love you with my poor human love'. Christ insists: "Simon, do you love me with this total love that I want?". And Peter repeats the response of his humble human love: "Kyrie, filô-se", "Lord, I love you as I know how to love". At the third time Jesus only says to Simon: "Fileîs-me?", "do you love me?". Simon understands that Jesus needs only his poor love, the only love he is capable of, and yet he is saddened that the Lord had to say this to him. He therefore replies: 'Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you (filô-se)'. One might say that Jesus adapted himself to Peter, rather than Peter to Jesus! It is precisely this divine adaptation that gives hope to the disciple, who has known the suffering of infidelity. Hence the confidence that makes him capable of following until the end: "This he said to indicate by which death he would glorify God. And having said this he added: 'Follow me'" (Jn 21:19).

From that day on, Peter "followed" the Master with the precise awareness of his own frailty; but this awareness did not discourage him. For he knew that he could count on the presence of the Risen One beside him. From the naive enthusiasm of initial adherence, passing through the painful experience of denial and the weeping of conversion, Peter came to trust in the Jesus who adapted himself to his poor capacity for love. And so he also shows us the way, despite all our weakness. We know that Jesus adapts himself to this weakness of ours. We follow him, with our poor capacity for love, and we know that Jesus is good and accepts us.

(Pope Benedict, General Audience 24 May 2006)